Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
