So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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