Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
