I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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