Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
