Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
