Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
