My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
