OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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