oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
