I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
