I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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