girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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