Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
