Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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