protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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