Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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