i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
