Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The air was thick with penises
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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