she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
