soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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