9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
