Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
