I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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