i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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