He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
