So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
