Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
