no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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