it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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