Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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