i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
