you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
