Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
