Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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