I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
