god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
