Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
