my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize