none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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