Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
