its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
