you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
3pm strippers are depressing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
