We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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