I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
