You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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