You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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