Umm I'm too high to move.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize