You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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