Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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