Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
