I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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