Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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