is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
