omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
