We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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