he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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