ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
