I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
