He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
