How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
