Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
