Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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