GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
