Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
