jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.