My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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