Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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