Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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