is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
