how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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