Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
