I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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