I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
