Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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